Trust Starts Here
I recently met with a group of investors who had one nagging thing in common: they no longer trusted anyone to help them invest their money. Their former trusted advisors, in their minds, were not objective enough, didn’t deliver satisfactory service nor understood how to meet their expectations. Their complaints sounded something like “I don’t trust anyone these days”; “I’m not crazy about the guy I’m working with but I don’t think I’m going to find anyone different—they all have their own biases and act on them”; “I’m keeping my money in cash and at least I’m sleeping at night. Of course, it is a hassle having multiple bank accounts to manage”.
This scenario is quite common as I’ve heard on the news and read in surveys. Bottom line is that we don’t trust our institutions whom we’ve entrusted with our financial well-being—our government, our banks, our money managers and our employers.
We’d all agree it’s not healthy to be fearful of our security and well-being, but that’s where the agreement and clarity ends. When we have to figure out how to change the situation, we tend to ignore any meaningful personal feedback of what led us into the current situation—greed, unrealistic expectations, irrational exuberance for starters. In addition, most lamenters share in a passive approach to mastering their own financial and personal affairs.
If I’ve learned anything about the psychology of money management all of these years, I’ve learned that greater self-trust is projected unconsciously onto others and leads to greater trust of others. We know that we’ll do everything in our power to act in our own best self-interest, control what we can and then do our best with what we can’t. So, it’s clear we need greater trust in our own capabilities and efforts to protect ourselves and act in our best interest. We have to spend the time and do our own work—whatever it takes to bring back a greater sense of certainty and control. If I don’t trust myself because of mistakes I’ve made then I can’t really trust others. I have to see and own part of the responsibility.
So we talked about this concept in the group and waded through a lot of resistance to really perceiving the role that each one of us played. I must say we all left feeling more empowered and motivated to push ahead. Sometimes it takes making peace with a dreaded situation and finding a way to deal and cope as best we can.
Showing posts with label money management. Show all posts
Showing posts with label money management. Show all posts
Wednesday, February 03, 2010
Tuesday, January 05, 2010
New Year's Money Resolutions: How to Succeed in Keeping Yours
Over the many decades of giving advice on how to succeed in keeping New Year’s resolutions, I think about how I can make the advice unique in some way so that more people heed the advice and succeed in keeping their resolutions. But I ultimately come back to the advice that I know works when we take ourselves and our desires for change more seriously, so we walk our talk so to speak.
I’ve found three guiding principles that are easy to remember and quite easy to execute if kept conscious and actionable in our daily lives. So heeding the three R’s will work for you, also, if your resolutions are:
1) Reasonable, 2) Realistic and 3) Rewarding.
Your resolution(s) should be based on an attainable goal rather than wishful thinking and on a whim. They should be what you could reasonably and realistically achieve otherwise you’ll set yourself up to fail. Most of us set goals so that we can be rewarded by achieving them, so make sure the resolutions are going to pay off for you.
If one of your goals is to getter a greater sense of control over your money management in 2010, put systems in place in your daily life so that you have a sense of whether you are really achieving and will achieve that sense of control. Tracking money coming in and going out is just the beginning. Monitoring if you’re making the best use of your money will assure that this new system for achieving greater control actually becomes rewarding. If you don’t know what it is that you want your money to satisfy, it will never be able to bring you that sense of fulfillment. That’s where the “rewarding” factor comes in, so that you can sustain the new goal you set. Set up the goal for the new sense of money mastery and make it concrete and measurable so you know when you achieve it.
Most resolutions fail because old habits are tough to break and new ones hard to form without consistency, conscious effort and a sense of motivation to sustain this new behavior. An important part of maintaining our resolutions is being able to emotionally and financially support our goals and challenges. So, it’s not enough to focus on the finances. We must also focus on a plan to assure that our emotions don’t trip us up along the way. One way to do this is in keeping the actions required simple and small at first.
Small steps can lead to big gains if made consistently over time. Small steps are easier to make and easier to commit to in our already crowded lives. The small steps must be part of a strategy and plan, however that consistently lead to our desired payoff. They must be recorded somewhere so we are aware and responsible for following through. We want these small steps to become habitual and reflexive so they become a natural part of our lives. They have to fit into our schedule—putting them into the calendar with cues to remind ourselves that we must take action—will assure that they aren’t forgotten.
Rewarding ourselves for accomplishing these small steps will assure that our emotions cooperate and keep us on top of our game for change. So, remember small steps taken over time will lead to big gains. Now, let’s all get going and assure that we beat the statistics this year and keep our resolutions.
I’ve found three guiding principles that are easy to remember and quite easy to execute if kept conscious and actionable in our daily lives. So heeding the three R’s will work for you, also, if your resolutions are:
1) Reasonable, 2) Realistic and 3) Rewarding.
Your resolution(s) should be based on an attainable goal rather than wishful thinking and on a whim. They should be what you could reasonably and realistically achieve otherwise you’ll set yourself up to fail. Most of us set goals so that we can be rewarded by achieving them, so make sure the resolutions are going to pay off for you.
If one of your goals is to getter a greater sense of control over your money management in 2010, put systems in place in your daily life so that you have a sense of whether you are really achieving and will achieve that sense of control. Tracking money coming in and going out is just the beginning. Monitoring if you’re making the best use of your money will assure that this new system for achieving greater control actually becomes rewarding. If you don’t know what it is that you want your money to satisfy, it will never be able to bring you that sense of fulfillment. That’s where the “rewarding” factor comes in, so that you can sustain the new goal you set. Set up the goal for the new sense of money mastery and make it concrete and measurable so you know when you achieve it.
Most resolutions fail because old habits are tough to break and new ones hard to form without consistency, conscious effort and a sense of motivation to sustain this new behavior. An important part of maintaining our resolutions is being able to emotionally and financially support our goals and challenges. So, it’s not enough to focus on the finances. We must also focus on a plan to assure that our emotions don’t trip us up along the way. One way to do this is in keeping the actions required simple and small at first.
Small steps can lead to big gains if made consistently over time. Small steps are easier to make and easier to commit to in our already crowded lives. The small steps must be part of a strategy and plan, however that consistently lead to our desired payoff. They must be recorded somewhere so we are aware and responsible for following through. We want these small steps to become habitual and reflexive so they become a natural part of our lives. They have to fit into our schedule—putting them into the calendar with cues to remind ourselves that we must take action—will assure that they aren’t forgotten.
Rewarding ourselves for accomplishing these small steps will assure that our emotions cooperate and keep us on top of our game for change. So, remember small steps taken over time will lead to big gains. Now, let’s all get going and assure that we beat the statistics this year and keep our resolutions.
Thursday, December 17, 2009
YOUR MONEY PERSONALITIES: MATCH OR MISMATCH?
It may be easier if your styles of handling money are similar, but here, as with other characteristics, opposites attract. Ideally, couples should have a serious talk about their individual financial preferences before differences erupt. But in the era of romantic love (from the late nineteenth century on), we have felt that it somehow tarnished the purity of love to discuss it in the same context as money. As a result, the importance of money is generally ignored during courtship, yet it becomes a primary focus of contention during marriage.
In my years of counseling practice, the complaints I hear from married clients have changed little. A typical scenario might be: “My wife is an emotional spender. She’s not realistic about money.” “Money with him is a power struggle. My husband doesn’t hear me when I ask for things. He doesn’t know what it takes to run a family.” Some other classic mismatch combinations are: a serious money saver paired with a person who is admittedly ‘born to shop,’ a high roller/risk taker paired with a safety seeker afraid to take risks, and a materialistic status seeker paired with a bohemian. While these and other combinations all come with their own challenges and issues built in, there is hope.
WORKING THROUGH YOUR FINANCIAL DIFFERENCES
Be involved and invest in your relationship. It is one of your greatest assets in life. Understand your differences and plan around them. Take equal responsibility for managing your money so both of you are informed. For example, if one person routinely pays the bills, the other should file the paid invoices.
Respect each other’s differences instead of judging them. Look for patterns and issues that continually crop up and then look at what attitudes and feelings about money and what emotions are creating those behavioral patterns. Next, discuss ways to avoid falling into those patterns in the future. You might want to schedule a monthly “money talk” as a forum for these discussions. Remember that good financial communication works both ways – listening as well as talking. The price of not communicating is to proceed to the point where differences appear irreconcilable.
Watch for telltale signs of financial compatibility while courting. Deal with these issues when they present themselves. Don’t think it will get better when you are married or living together.
If you don’t deal with issues up front, your differences may get blown out of proportion. The key is to try to understand your partner’s feelings about money before lashing out in response. One of the most reliable ways to work with your partner is to take Moneymax®. It’s positive, eliminates emotions getting in the way, it’s fast and easy, non-threatening and objective. It shows potential problem areas to be discussed and considered, and reveals ways to manage money more harmoniously as a couple and ultimately in a way that will satisfy the needs of both partners.
In every couple, no matter what your income level is, there are daily decisions to be made about the allocation of money. Among low-income families, money is a constant source of irritation because of its short supply, but it may also be a chief irritant among the more affluent. A shortage of money is not usually the real problem in a money fight. The problem may be differences in attitudes, preexisting grievances, or any number of factors. According to the Family Service Association, of marriages ostensibly threatened by money arguments, only 6 percent of the couples were actually short of money. The most ferocious marital money conflicts occur when there are irreconcilable differences in money personalities, such as when a saver marries a spender.
It doesn’t have to be that way. Even if you haven’t met your ideal financial match, you can learn to diffuse the money conflicts in your relationship by discovering, understanding and working with your financial personalities. So turn your much ado about money into much ado about nothing.
In my years of counseling practice, the complaints I hear from married clients have changed little. A typical scenario might be: “My wife is an emotional spender. She’s not realistic about money.” “Money with him is a power struggle. My husband doesn’t hear me when I ask for things. He doesn’t know what it takes to run a family.” Some other classic mismatch combinations are: a serious money saver paired with a person who is admittedly ‘born to shop,’ a high roller/risk taker paired with a safety seeker afraid to take risks, and a materialistic status seeker paired with a bohemian. While these and other combinations all come with their own challenges and issues built in, there is hope.
WORKING THROUGH YOUR FINANCIAL DIFFERENCES
Be involved and invest in your relationship. It is one of your greatest assets in life. Understand your differences and plan around them. Take equal responsibility for managing your money so both of you are informed. For example, if one person routinely pays the bills, the other should file the paid invoices.
Respect each other’s differences instead of judging them. Look for patterns and issues that continually crop up and then look at what attitudes and feelings about money and what emotions are creating those behavioral patterns. Next, discuss ways to avoid falling into those patterns in the future. You might want to schedule a monthly “money talk” as a forum for these discussions. Remember that good financial communication works both ways – listening as well as talking. The price of not communicating is to proceed to the point where differences appear irreconcilable.
Watch for telltale signs of financial compatibility while courting. Deal with these issues when they present themselves. Don’t think it will get better when you are married or living together.
If you don’t deal with issues up front, your differences may get blown out of proportion. The key is to try to understand your partner’s feelings about money before lashing out in response. One of the most reliable ways to work with your partner is to take Moneymax®. It’s positive, eliminates emotions getting in the way, it’s fast and easy, non-threatening and objective. It shows potential problem areas to be discussed and considered, and reveals ways to manage money more harmoniously as a couple and ultimately in a way that will satisfy the needs of both partners.
In every couple, no matter what your income level is, there are daily decisions to be made about the allocation of money. Among low-income families, money is a constant source of irritation because of its short supply, but it may also be a chief irritant among the more affluent. A shortage of money is not usually the real problem in a money fight. The problem may be differences in attitudes, preexisting grievances, or any number of factors. According to the Family Service Association, of marriages ostensibly threatened by money arguments, only 6 percent of the couples were actually short of money. The most ferocious marital money conflicts occur when there are irreconcilable differences in money personalities, such as when a saver marries a spender.
It doesn’t have to be that way. Even if you haven’t met your ideal financial match, you can learn to diffuse the money conflicts in your relationship by discovering, understanding and working with your financial personalities. So turn your much ado about money into much ado about nothing.
Friday, November 13, 2009
On The Delicate Subject of Money
Money permeates every relationship in life, every interpersonal interaction: friendship and courtship, living together and marriage, divorce and death. Dealing with it, however, is still a major issue for couples today because it is not a comfortable issue to discuss. Even during these challenging economic times, partners avoid talking about money and dealing with the emotions it evokes. Money is certainly still a taboo in couple talk.
Money, of course, has always provided plenty of fodder for partnership discord. Many of the complaints I hear have changed little over the years. A typical husband’s lament: “My wife is an emotional spender. She’s not realistic about money.” His spouse’s refrain: “Money with him is a power struggle. He doesn’t hear me when I ask for things. He doesn’t know what it takes to run a family.”
What have changed are financial roles. It is an era of his, her and their checking accounts; a time when wives are likely to make as much as or more than their husbands and to have their own, often divergent ideas about handling money.
Money differences or incompatibilities are just a symptom of some underlying dynamic, not the cause. Money is a commodity which takes on other meanings and emotions. It becomes the emotional football that partners may use to throw back and forth at one another and never resolve their real issues. Family finances may be a forum for disputes over responsibility and commitment, need for attention, lack of trust in others.
Here are some suggestions for trying to work things out on your own. If money problems persist, you may want to seek professional help.
• Talk over financial matters regularly, at a time when money decisions are not pressing. You might consider setting up monthly “meetings” when you and your partner can discuss major goals, lifestyle issues, investment strategies as well as dreams and hopes for the future.
• Both partners should keep abreast of the financial situation. Some couples find it helps to trade off responsibility for paying bills; others delegate the job to the partner best suited to perform it. Each partner should feel he or she has access to money and knowledge of their financial status.
• Agree on at least a few financial goals over the next six months, talking over those things most important to you. Write down your decisions so both of you remember your goals and your top priorities for planning.
Above all, remember that arriving at a workable money strategy is a negotiation process. It’s very healthy to admit who you are when it comes to money and what you really value. The health and wealth of the partnership depends on both partners being aware, involved and committed to working together to achieve what’s most important to them individually as well as what works best for their relationship.
You can check out http://www.kathleengurney.com to learn more on this topic.
Money, of course, has always provided plenty of fodder for partnership discord. Many of the complaints I hear have changed little over the years. A typical husband’s lament: “My wife is an emotional spender. She’s not realistic about money.” His spouse’s refrain: “Money with him is a power struggle. He doesn’t hear me when I ask for things. He doesn’t know what it takes to run a family.”
What have changed are financial roles. It is an era of his, her and their checking accounts; a time when wives are likely to make as much as or more than their husbands and to have their own, often divergent ideas about handling money.
Money differences or incompatibilities are just a symptom of some underlying dynamic, not the cause. Money is a commodity which takes on other meanings and emotions. It becomes the emotional football that partners may use to throw back and forth at one another and never resolve their real issues. Family finances may be a forum for disputes over responsibility and commitment, need for attention, lack of trust in others.
Here are some suggestions for trying to work things out on your own. If money problems persist, you may want to seek professional help.
• Talk over financial matters regularly, at a time when money decisions are not pressing. You might consider setting up monthly “meetings” when you and your partner can discuss major goals, lifestyle issues, investment strategies as well as dreams and hopes for the future.
• Both partners should keep abreast of the financial situation. Some couples find it helps to trade off responsibility for paying bills; others delegate the job to the partner best suited to perform it. Each partner should feel he or she has access to money and knowledge of their financial status.
• Agree on at least a few financial goals over the next six months, talking over those things most important to you. Write down your decisions so both of you remember your goals and your top priorities for planning.
Above all, remember that arriving at a workable money strategy is a negotiation process. It’s very healthy to admit who you are when it comes to money and what you really value. The health and wealth of the partnership depends on both partners being aware, involved and committed to working together to achieve what’s most important to them individually as well as what works best for their relationship.
You can check out http://www.kathleengurney.com to learn more on this topic.
Friday, October 02, 2009
Subconscious Savings: Put Savings on Autopilot and Avoid Will Power Decisions
American values appear to be changing from conspicuous consumption to more responsible savings and spending, but we’re all wondering whether this behavior shift will really be an enduring change in our values and behavior over time. Will we continue to save when we feel the tough times have subsided and we’re somewhat back to a normal economic life as we define it?
We’re hoping that we will be able to develop and maintain a healthy savings habit and make better use of our money. But obviously spending habits are a challenge to change. According to the latest survey data (August 2009), it appears that Americans are starting to spend again.
Over the last two decades, I’ve discovered that financial habits and behavior are subconsciously motivated and a result of how we think and feel about money. To make any significant impact in changing old habits and acquiring new financial behavior, we have to focus on our attitudes and feelings about our money as well as how we behave. Attitudes drive behavior and behavior drives attitudes. There’s a reciprocal relationship between the two which enables us to change and maintain that change so we can achieve our goals and realize our dreams.
This was a key part of my message that I delivered last week as I toured five cities: New Orleans, Baton Rouge, Houston, Dallas and New York with Capital One Bank who recruited me to educate consumers in how to develop healthy savings habits. It was also my goal to give people an understanding of how to start to save effortlessly and then maintain the savings over time.
Capital One is interested in consumers being able to use tools like their new offering, SmartCents Checking, which is available at Capital One Bank retail locations. The free personal checking account transfers 50 cents from the customer’s checking account to a linked savings account for every eligible online bill pay or debit card purchase. Capital One will match 100% of all eligible customer transfers for the first three months, and 5% thereafter. It seems to be an excellent tool to automate savings and help remove any will power decisions that might sabotage best intentions of saving on a consistent basis.
So, it was my goal in speaking with groups of consumers at each of five Capital One Bank locations to emphasize the importance of understanding how to use our personal financial traits to our greatest advantage and avoid powerful and unconscious emotional triggers which can sabotage our best intentions to change. We all know what happens to our New Year’s resolutions—our best intentions are defeated by our powerful, unconscious and ingrained mind-set or personality pitfalls that trip us up.
We all agree that we don’t want our money to serve our emotions which may not be in our best interest. Today more than ever we have to use this opportunity of the “Great Recession” to focus on what it takes to become more financially secure. As a result, we’ll become more confident and make more rational vs. emotional decisions that will ultimately bring us greater joy and less regret.
In my conversations with some of the people I met last week, it was obvious that they don’t lack the desire to improve their financial situation; they feel they lack the understanding of how to make more suitable decisions for themselves. They whole-heartedly accepted the fact that their attitudes and feelings about money make an impact on their financial situation and they were motivated to learn more about making the best use of their money personality. Couples were particularly interested in how they could use their perceived differences in personality so they could manage their money more harmoniously. All were eager to read my book, “Your Money Personality: What It Is and How You Can Profit from It” which Capital One Bank gave away. Many went a step further and expressed a desire to discover their money personalities by taking the Moneymax® questionnaire online so they could receive a personalized report of their trait scores and how to optimize them.
I was convinced, as I usually am in my conversations with people, that we lack personal education more than personal motivation in making the best use of our money. If you are interested in learning more about your individial money personality and how to profit from it, follow the link: www.kathleengurney.com/fpconsumer/index.asp.
Remember your money personality makes an impact on how you use your money and the satisfaction you reap from it. To make any positive impact, you have to focus on your attitudes and feelings about your money as well as how you behave.
We’re hoping that we will be able to develop and maintain a healthy savings habit and make better use of our money. But obviously spending habits are a challenge to change. According to the latest survey data (August 2009), it appears that Americans are starting to spend again.
Over the last two decades, I’ve discovered that financial habits and behavior are subconsciously motivated and a result of how we think and feel about money. To make any significant impact in changing old habits and acquiring new financial behavior, we have to focus on our attitudes and feelings about our money as well as how we behave. Attitudes drive behavior and behavior drives attitudes. There’s a reciprocal relationship between the two which enables us to change and maintain that change so we can achieve our goals and realize our dreams.
This was a key part of my message that I delivered last week as I toured five cities: New Orleans, Baton Rouge, Houston, Dallas and New York with Capital One Bank who recruited me to educate consumers in how to develop healthy savings habits. It was also my goal to give people an understanding of how to start to save effortlessly and then maintain the savings over time.
Capital One is interested in consumers being able to use tools like their new offering, SmartCents Checking, which is available at Capital One Bank retail locations. The free personal checking account transfers 50 cents from the customer’s checking account to a linked savings account for every eligible online bill pay or debit card purchase. Capital One will match 100% of all eligible customer transfers for the first three months, and 5% thereafter. It seems to be an excellent tool to automate savings and help remove any will power decisions that might sabotage best intentions of saving on a consistent basis.
So, it was my goal in speaking with groups of consumers at each of five Capital One Bank locations to emphasize the importance of understanding how to use our personal financial traits to our greatest advantage and avoid powerful and unconscious emotional triggers which can sabotage our best intentions to change. We all know what happens to our New Year’s resolutions—our best intentions are defeated by our powerful, unconscious and ingrained mind-set or personality pitfalls that trip us up.
We all agree that we don’t want our money to serve our emotions which may not be in our best interest. Today more than ever we have to use this opportunity of the “Great Recession” to focus on what it takes to become more financially secure. As a result, we’ll become more confident and make more rational vs. emotional decisions that will ultimately bring us greater joy and less regret.
In my conversations with some of the people I met last week, it was obvious that they don’t lack the desire to improve their financial situation; they feel they lack the understanding of how to make more suitable decisions for themselves. They whole-heartedly accepted the fact that their attitudes and feelings about money make an impact on their financial situation and they were motivated to learn more about making the best use of their money personality. Couples were particularly interested in how they could use their perceived differences in personality so they could manage their money more harmoniously. All were eager to read my book, “Your Money Personality: What It Is and How You Can Profit from It” which Capital One Bank gave away. Many went a step further and expressed a desire to discover their money personalities by taking the Moneymax® questionnaire online so they could receive a personalized report of their trait scores and how to optimize them.
I was convinced, as I usually am in my conversations with people, that we lack personal education more than personal motivation in making the best use of our money. If you are interested in learning more about your individial money personality and how to profit from it, follow the link: www.kathleengurney.com/fpconsumer/index.asp.
Remember your money personality makes an impact on how you use your money and the satisfaction you reap from it. To make any positive impact, you have to focus on your attitudes and feelings about your money as well as how you behave.
Monday, August 17, 2009
Money Personalities: Bliss or Bickering?
Money permeates every relationship in life and acts as a powerful force in enhancing similarities and reinforcing differences. In my research and work with couples over the years and helping them in their money management challenges, I found it fascinating that the most compatible couples shared similar money personality traits and values , http://www.kathleengurney.com. The old adage, "opposites attract", just didn't hold true among the couples that seemed to use money well together. The opposites I did see in money personalities came to see me because money became the symptom of emotional differences and discord and the scapegoat for all that was going wrong.
So, today when I read the article, "In Spending Matters, Opposites' Attraction Fuels Conflict" in the International Herald Tribune,http://global.nytimes.com/?iht, I wasn't surprised to find that researchers had found that people who were described as "spendthrifts" and "tightwads" tended to marry. These "dichotomized duos" reported more unhappy marriages than people with more similar attitudes toward spending. These "financially polar pairs" reported greater conflict over money and lower levels of marital bliss.
This makes sense to me because the spending/saving trait is the most obvious to see in action with couples. The tugging and control over the purse strings becomes obvious with all purchase decisions. Money becomes the symbol of differing opinions and values with a compromise hard to reach considering how far apart the saver and spender are on this trait.
In consulting with opposite money personalities like the Achievers (savers and accumulators of wealth) and the Hunters (emotional spenders), their conflicts were obvious. Achievers get turned on by watching their money accumulate while the Hunters' greatest joy is a great shopping treasure hunt.
You would think that this obvious difference in money personalities would be a warning signal in considering marriage and managing money together. Unfortunately, couples plunge ahead not wanting to make such affairs of the wallet a priority.
There is hope if couples are willing to do the hard work to reach compromise and compatibility. If they're willing to explore each other's perspective and reach the most suitable solution that satisfies both partner's needs without jeopardizing security, then whatever differences they have can be managed for mutual satisfaction.
So, today when I read the article, "In Spending Matters, Opposites' Attraction Fuels Conflict" in the International Herald Tribune,http://global.nytimes.com/?iht, I wasn't surprised to find that researchers had found that people who were described as "spendthrifts" and "tightwads" tended to marry. These "dichotomized duos" reported more unhappy marriages than people with more similar attitudes toward spending. These "financially polar pairs" reported greater conflict over money and lower levels of marital bliss.
This makes sense to me because the spending/saving trait is the most obvious to see in action with couples. The tugging and control over the purse strings becomes obvious with all purchase decisions. Money becomes the symbol of differing opinions and values with a compromise hard to reach considering how far apart the saver and spender are on this trait.
In consulting with opposite money personalities like the Achievers (savers and accumulators of wealth) and the Hunters (emotional spenders), their conflicts were obvious. Achievers get turned on by watching their money accumulate while the Hunters' greatest joy is a great shopping treasure hunt.
You would think that this obvious difference in money personalities would be a warning signal in considering marriage and managing money together. Unfortunately, couples plunge ahead not wanting to make such affairs of the wallet a priority.
There is hope if couples are willing to do the hard work to reach compromise and compatibility. If they're willing to explore each other's perspective and reach the most suitable solution that satisfies both partner's needs without jeopardizing security, then whatever differences they have can be managed for mutual satisfaction.
Monday, August 10, 2009
Preparing for Retirement by Doing and Feeling
I read an article in the N.Y. Times, A Boot Camp to Prepare for Retirement; http://www.nytimes.com/2009/07/25/your-money/25money.html?_r=1&emc=eta1">and I was impressed by what two financial planners had developed. They created a simulation for their clients and allowed them to experience how they were feeling about a new phase of life. In many ways, I would imagine participants have a new understanding of what’s so intimidating and often depressing about the “R” word as many of my clients refer to retirement.
About 8 years ago, I was thinking along the same lines and had proposed a similar program to the local university. I was just moving to Sarasota and thought it would be a great venue for participants and a way for Sarasota to show off what a wonderful city this is for retirement by inviting pre-retirees for several weekends during the year to go through a weekend workshop.
Timing was not in my favor so the program was not accepted by the university but it’s been in the back of my mind ever since as a highly worthwhile endeavor; abbreviated versions have worked well so a longer process would be even more beneficial.
When I read about Tillotson and Kennefick, I was absolutely delighted; someone had actually developed such a program. Brava.
We don’t have many opportunities to reinvent ourselves and I have seen too many people misjudge, miscalculate and misrepresent their retirement plans. Being able to live out the “what-if’s” is a wonderful opportunity to get it right saving valuable time and resources.
About 8 years ago, I was thinking along the same lines and had proposed a similar program to the local university. I was just moving to Sarasota and thought it would be a great venue for participants and a way for Sarasota to show off what a wonderful city this is for retirement by inviting pre-retirees for several weekends during the year to go through a weekend workshop.
Timing was not in my favor so the program was not accepted by the university but it’s been in the back of my mind ever since as a highly worthwhile endeavor; abbreviated versions have worked well so a longer process would be even more beneficial.
When I read about Tillotson and Kennefick, I was absolutely delighted; someone had actually developed such a program. Brava.
We don’t have many opportunities to reinvent ourselves and I have seen too many people misjudge, miscalculate and misrepresent their retirement plans. Being able to live out the “what-if’s” is a wonderful opportunity to get it right saving valuable time and resources.
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